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Gummi Bear: Not As Fat, Just As Dumb - Thanks to Jason Davis and his homophobic friend, we have a new Word of the Day -- Fatorexic (noun): A person who loses a significant amount of weight while maintaining a plumpy somach.
Cheryl Burke: Dancing With The Slurs - Just because there's no red light, doesn't mean the camera isn't recording -- something an overly partied Cheryl probably wished she knew before she called Verne Troyer the very un-PC term, "midget," about a hundred times.
Daddy Lohan Weasels His Way Back - Lindsay Lohan's papa (and an unfortunate gust of wind) stopped by her set yesterday for a visit -- a pretty surprising sight considering she blamed him for her relapse back in April.
Hulk Hogan Is A Son Of A Beach - As his son rots in jail and John Graziano sits practically braindead in a Florida hospital, Hulk Hogan is once again drowning his sorrows in his daughter's ass.
Madge's Baby Daddy -- Like A Douchebag - Placing himself firmly in the middle of the brewing Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce war, Carlos Leon -- father of the first Madgespawn, Lourdes -- had about as much love for our reporter as Guy and Madge apparently have for one another.
Shauna Sand Afraid Of A Prick - With her daughter by her side and her best stripper heels on her feet, Shauna Sand said Dr. Jiffy Lube never pumped her up -- because she's afraid of needles.
Something Racist About Cameron? - Cameron Diaz doesn't strike us as a bigot -- and judging by her reaction to a photog insinuating she made a racist comment, she doesn't think she's one either.
Shauna Sand Gets Pumped - Hiding behind two ice packs, Shauna Sand emerged from plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan's office last night -- looking like a trashy reject from the Daisy Duke School for High-Heeled Girls.
John Salley: Tell Me How My Lies Taste! - Delusional John Salley says the only reason he got caught lying about the"Best Damn Sports Show Period" never running the Shaq attack vid -- is because he doesn't think it anything to do with sports!?!?! Are you crazy!!!!!
Mr. Blonde Gets Red With Anger - Michael Madsen claims he hasn't been to London in "a long time." So that alleged bust up with his wife in a British hotel room earlier this month? Must have been another C-list actor with the same name.
Alabama, How Does Shaq's A** Taste? - Shaquille O'Neal visited a software company in Huntsville, Ala. yesterday but all anyone wants to know about is that darn Kobe rap.
Drunk Girls Part 3: Samro Smoked Out - The blitzed babes who infiltrated Paris and Diddy's crews had one more target before calling it a night -- and a LiLo-less Sam Ronson probably got it worst of all.
Ivan Drago Still "must Break You" - Rocky Balboa better watch his back -- The Siberian Bull is ready for another run.
You Don't Lose Miss Ross' Baggage! - Diana Ross threw a mini hissy fit today at LAX when she couldn't find her luggage -- but the guy she bitched out got off easy.
J. Lo & Mark: The Babysitter's Making Overtime! - Emme & Max Lopez-Anthony, it's 4:30am, do you know where your parents are?
Drunk Girls, Take 2: Who's Your Diddy? - When we last left our trio of tastelessness they were sneaking into Crown Bar with Paris Hilton -- well, looks like they made their way out with Diddy ... and some more booze in their bellies.
Drunks Make Paris Look Good - Paris Hilton, Diddy and Sam Ronson all shared the same drunk chicks last night. No, not like that.
Hilary: One Step Closer To Becoming A Man - Hilary Swank was at LAX yesterday -- Who knew they were making a sequel to "Boys Don't Cry"?
Soprano Drops Drawers, $cores Bigtime! - Paying $17,000 for second-hand underwear is steep -- but that's what one bidder put down to own the boxers that once held Tony Soprano's family jewels.
Oprah Stops London Traffic For Barack - So our papper sees this black car with tinted windows in London yesterday and figures, it's the queen. He was right!
John Daly Shotguns It From A Tall Boy - Golf is usually a pretty reserved sport -- but throw an overall clad, hillbilly hick Kid Rock into the mix and it quickly becomes a boozy mess.
Surfer's Violent Pap Fight -- Who Hit First? - TMZ has obtained new video from a beachgoer's view of one of last weekend's brutal beach beatdowns -- and it shows one of the surfers threw the first hit.
Suge's Knockout Artist: Color Him Busted - Brace yourselves for a shock - the guy who knocked out Suge Knight is not law abiding.
Smoke In The Airplane Boys Room? - Talk about a motley in-flight crue -- a TMZ spy tells us that they spotted badboy Tommy Lee and litigatrix Gloria Allred sitting one row apart on an American Airlines flight last night from New York to LAX.
George Lucas: My Daughter Got Her Ass Beat - He's not excited about her career choice, but George Lucas still supports his daughter's decision to be a mixed martial arts master -- even when she's on the losing end of a brutal beat down.